


Rescue Me - Can't Escape The Tide

by F4nd0mG33k17



Series: Chicago Winters [1]
Category: Chicago PD (TV)
Genre: Canon Typical Violence, Child Death, Drug reference, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 19:16:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 4,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17566391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F4nd0mG33k17/pseuds/F4nd0mG33k17
Summary: *FIRST EVER PUBLISHED FIC*A nasty case puts Antonio in a rough place and Hank takes it upon himself to keep his detective grounded.





	1. Heaven only knows if we’ll make it back with all our fingers and our toes

**Author's Note:**

> Hi :)
> 
> As mentioned in the summary this is my first time publishing a fic so please be gentle! I have more written for a series if this goes over well so comments/kudos would be amazing if you want more.
> 
> Some canon changes:  
> *Adam was never an idiot and he married Kim straight off  
> *Erin never had to leave and her and Jay are engaged  
> *Everything with Olinsky never happened - he happily retired to NY for Michelle and Lexi's study choices
> 
> Standard team divisions; Antonio/Hank + Jay/Erin + Adam/Kev + Hailey/Kim
> 
> Lyrics quoted from:  
> *Brother - Kodaline  
> *Time - Mikky Ekko

Heaven only knows if we’ll make it back with all our fingers and our toes.  
Monday, 08:30

It’s early, it’s cold as shit, and he doesn't have nearly enough coffee in his system to deal with the hangover he is facing, let alone the unexpectedly icy weather and two foot of snow that has fallen overnight. Add to that the shipping container of dead kids that has just become their newest case and his week is off to a great start. Voight sighs. Hands tucked into his vest in an effort to maintain some semblance of warmth, he takes in the crime scene and the members of his unit scattered across it. 

Jay and Erin are huddled close on one side, Jay’s expression sour and Erin’s sporadic hand gestures aggressive. Kevin and Hailey are walking through the scene with CSUs while Kim and Adam are talking with the site manager. They all seem restless and agitated, eager to start running with the case and bring in the bastards responsible. While none of his unit take well to cases with kids, Antonio is the biggest concern to him right now. The young detective is stood away from the scene, shoulders a line of tension and expression deceptively blank as he takes in the yard. Hank’s worked with him on enough cases like this to know that a stoic Antonio is far worse than a visibly upset Antonio, doesn't need to look into his eyes to know the black rage twisting in their depths. After so many years on the job and his own ambiguous morality, still nothing manages to scare Voight and set his blood boiling quite like seeing Antonio in the thrall of that darkness and he vows then and there to keep him grounded for this one.

Heaving a final deep sigh before sliding into work mode, Voight makes his way through the snow toward his unit and calls their attention. He listens attentively as they give him a quick summary of what’s going on and resigns himself to being buried in this case for the long haul.


	2. And we’ll be carrying each other until we say goodbye on our dying day.

And we’ll be carrying each other until we say goodbye on our dying day.  
Monday, 12:30

As expected, the case has been irritating from the start and the slow pace has been winding the entire unit up. They’ve all been running down multiple leads but gotten very little for their efforts. By the time they roll out on their first real piece of information they’re all antsy and standoffish with one another. Voight is sympathetic to a point, he’s as pissed as they are with the inactivity, but he won’t see any of them hurt over a stupid mistake and the squabbling is pissing him off. Having had enough, he snaps at them through the radio, “Cut the bullshit and start acting like the elite unit you are. We’re never gonna catch these assholes if you all can't stop fighting with one another long enough to make an arrest!” The following silence is much appreciated and it’s not long before they’re pulling up to the address Mouse gave them. 

Antonio kicks the door in with enough force to crack the frame, a welcome release for some of the attitude he’s been sporting all morning. He and Jay sweep the hallway efficiently before moving on and allowing the rest of the unit to spill through the door. They clear the house quickly, the overwhelming force of all 8 of them enough to dissuade the kid they were looking for from so much as attempting to run. And if he just happens to bounce off the side of the car before Antonio gets him in the back seat? Hank blames the patch of ice he obviously didn't spot; everyone knows Chicago winters can be a real bitch.


	3. And if you were drowned at sea, I’d give you my lungs so you could breathe.

And if you were drowned at sea, I’d give you my lungs so you could breathe.  
Monday, 14:00

Voight’s attention is pulled from the file in his hands by scuffling in the bullpen. He looks up in time to catch sight of Jay as he propels Antonio through the door to the kitchenette and pins him to the sofa with a look that dares him to move. He’s in the doorway, ready to ask what the hell is going on, when Jay snarls, “You’re done in that interview! Get your shit together before we pull anyone else in and you throw the case for us!” and tears out of the room, narrowly avoiding smacking straight into Voight. 

Eyebrows raised, he catches Jay’s attention and inclines his head toward his office, turning and stalking back to lean on his desk as Jay follows. He watches silently as the ranger collects himself before standing in his usual half-at-attention manner and explaining himself wearily. “That punk we picked up needs his ass handed to him - I’m the first to admit it, Sarge. But you know how Antonio gets with cases like this and the kid isn’t gonna be able to tell us much if he’s had his teeth knocked out of his head. On the plus side, Antonio put the fear of God into him and he’s wisely decided his higher ups aren’t worth taking the ride for. Adam and Kev are in with him now getting names; we should have something to go on soon.” Voight nods, dismissing Jay before making his way back to the kitchenette and closing the door behind him.

He expects Antonio to still be fired up, prepares himself for a biting retort followed by a soft apology. But when Antonio looks at him, expression nothing short of distraught, Hank feels like he’s the one Antonio’s sucker punched. He remains silent, momentarily unsure of what to say to his partner, and settles for busying himself by pulling an ice pack out of the little freezer in the corner. He passes it to Antonio and is indescribably relieved by the tiniest smile the younger man shoots him as he takes it and presses it to his sore knuckles. Deciding not to break the still quietness between them, Voight simply opts to wrap his hand gently around the back of Antonio’s neck and is rewarded by long eyelashes fluttering against sharp cheekbones as his eyes slide shut and he leans into the touch. 

Kev and Adam emerging from the interrogation room eventually disturbs the silent moment and Antonio pulls away, adorably drowsy now the bright anger in him has fizzled away. Hank squeezes his shoulder before he pulls back, voice soft and low as he murmurs an assurance that they’re getting closer and won’t stop until they have everyone involved. Antonio nods and stands, wincing a little as he flexes his fist and throws the ice pack out before gathering around the board with the others.


	4. We’ve taken different paths and travelled different roads.

We’ve taken different paths and travelled different roads.  
Monday, 17:30

Hank sighs for what feels like the millionth time since they were handed this case. He had thought they had turned a corner and were actually getting somewhere useful after the first young lad they pinched had started talking. Mouse had run with what little they had been given and Voight had to admit he’d been impressed with what he had turned up. 

They’d rolled up to the address with the big guns at the ready, prepared for a fight. Perhaps, in hindsight, the lack of resistance should have been a red flag to the unit. Hitting hard and fast, they had come in to the main room from the front and back of the house and found a group of young lads passing a couple joints and playing poker. Raised eyebrows had been traded among the detectives but they had cuffed the group and dragged them back to the district regardless.

Playing them all off against each other had been the most obvious idea but everything they had tried had either been met with stubborn silence or vehement claims of innocence. Uniforms had ripped the house apart in the hopes of finding a little leverage but they had come up empty; everyone, including the boys they had busted, knew a joint or two wasn't worth the paperwork in the face of a shipping container of dead kids. Once the smug bastards had been kicked it had been back to square one and the restless anger fuelling the unit had come back with a vengeance. 

Voight had decided individual tasks were the best way to avoid infighting and so had assigned each detective a different avenue to explore. He feels more like a kindergarten teacher than a Sergeant as he watches them all scurry off but prays it will keep them from each other’s throats long enough for the dull headache he’s sporting to fade.


	5. And if we hit on troubled water, I’ll be the one to keep you warm and safe.

And if we hit on troubled water, I’ll be the one to keep you warm and safe.  
Monday, 23:30

As dusk slips into night-time and his team gradually tap out for the day, Voight’s about ready to put his fist through the closest wall. After they had discerned the poker boys to be irrelevant to the case it had seemed logical to divide and conquer. And while it felt as if they were getting somewhere by pulling on multiple threads at once, all they had really done was hit more dead ends. The atmosphere in the bullpen is awful, 15 hours of busting their asses with nothing to show for it clearly not sitting well with any of the detectives. 

As far as he knows, Adam and Kevin are making a last-ditch attempt to glean something useful off the first kid they had pulled in before they have to let him go while Kim and Hailey are running through files on each of the kids from the container and statements from the site staff again. He heads into the kitchenette, figuring there’s already too much coffee in his system to sleep so he may as well have another if only for something to do.

He comes up short at the sight before him, finding Jay and Erin both sprawled across the couch in an impossible tangle of limbs and utterly dead to the world. While he’s put aside his doubts about the two of them together and appreciates Erin having someone unconditionally on her side, it isn’t actually them that gives him pause; it’s Antonio, gently covering as much of their combined form as he can with the blanket they keep lying around for late nights like this one. His heart aches at the sight of the young detective taking such care of his surrogate kid, even while his eyes rake over his tousled dark hair and tight fitting blue tshirt appreciatively. He stays where he’s stood as Antonio creeps quietly through the kitchen to grab a glass of water, mesmerised by the ripple of muscle across the younger man’s shoulders and arms and the contrast of black ink on tanned skin. He feels as if he’s forgotten how to breathe when dark eyes sweep upwards, catching the low light creeping into the room from the bullpen, and is too stunned to move until Antonio smacks straight into him and almost drops his glass in shock.

Hank steadies Antonio with a firm grip on his waist, so focused on the feel of hip bones sharp through the thin fabric of his tshirt that he almost doesn't notice the string of (no doubt rude) Spanish tumbling from Antonio’s lips. He’s pushing the hair out of his eyes and blushing red at the tips of his ears by the time Voight manages to stammer out a half assed apology, both more unsteadied by the close proximity than startled from the unexpected collision. Mind catching up to him at last, Voight’s hands slip from Antonio’s hips and he steps back to put a little more space between the two of them. 

Antonio ducks his head and goes to move past Voight but a hand closes gently around his bicep and he turns back with a quirked eyebrow. Voight’s voice is quiet and more gravelly than usual as he tilts his head toward Jay and Erin and tells him “You should get some sleep too.” Antonio simply nods, lets himself be pulled along into Hank’s office and shoved lightly toward the sofa. Suddenly feeling the day catch up to him, he barely manages to wrestle free of his shoulder holster and kick off his shoes before he’s asleep. Hank smiles softly as he watches Antonio sprawl across his sofa and promptly pass out, unable to resist pushing the unruly strands of hair from his eyes as he covers him with a blanket. Hearing Kev and Adam clunking up the stairs on the other side of the room, he slips out of the office and pulls the door shut gently so Antonio isn’t disturbed.


	6. Your love pours down like a waterfall and I can’t escape the tide.

Your love pours down like a waterfall and I can’t escape the tide.  
Tuesday, 05:45

Antonio startles awake, disorientated in the darkness and tangled in something heavy at his ankles. Adrenaline floods his system as he struggles against his confines and he promptly finds himself thumping onto the floor. He grouses as he kicks free of what he can now tell is a blanket before climbing to his feet, attention drawn by a noise from the far side of the room. Once his eyes have mostly adjusted to the muted light of dawn seeping through the windows, he recognises that he’s in Voight’s office and relaxes instantly. Attention drawn once again by the shuffling sound, he pads across the room and rounds the large desk to find Hank shifting restlessly where he’s sleeping on the floor. 

Antonio thinks he must be outrageously uncomfortable and feels guilty for stealing the couch, even if he was half asleep when he was shoved across it earlier. Not wanting to wake Hank to trade places, he opts for relinquishing his blanket to the older man and grabbing a hoodie from his desk to cover himself as he returns to the couch quietly. 

Unfortunately, sleep doesn’t come as easily as it had earlier; Antonio’s mind spinning courtesy of his jumbled emotions over Voight. He can’t count the number of illegal or morally questionable things he’s seen Voight do while in this unit, has been this close to walking away from the job multiple times, not forgetting that he was the one to put the cuffs on him back when Voight was only a detective. And maybe Antonio has gone off book a couple of times but ultimately he’s a good cop and he’s proud of that. And yet, his traitorous little heart pipes up, you love him. He’s given up denying his feelings for Voight – to himself, at least – even if he doesn't entirely understand them. 

It’s the unexpected moments when Voight lets his guard down that Antonio’s feelings most make sense; Voight stealing from the Jackson Park funds for him so he can save the gym, Voight falsifying months worth of UC paperwork to save his ass when he was in over his head, Voight constantly drifting into his personal space or going for a hug instead of the first bump everyone else gets, Voight sleeping on the goddamn floor of his office so that Antonio can have the couch. 

Sometimes, when Voight’s miles away, Antonio thinks maybe he isn’t so crazy and that he might not be the only one with these feelings. Sometimes he thinks he feels Voight’s eyes on him, lingering in places or for periods of time that friend’s eyes just don't linger. But then there are times where he feels like he’s been sucker punched, like whenever Sergeant Benson ends up in Chicago working a case with them, or when Erin’s in trouble and he thinks Voight would throw them all to the wolves if it would save her. Times when he touches Antonio completely casually, and its as if Antonio is the only one that feels like he’s been struck by lightning and set on fire wherever they’re in contact. Times when they’re pressed together, when he’s sure Hank is finally going to kiss him, only for him to scamper away like he’s been burned.

He stamps down his spiralling thoughts with all the aggression inspired by the previous day’s events, determined to get just a few more hours sleep before he’s got to pretend he’s fine and this case isn’t killing him and that he isn’t head over fucking heels for his boss. He tosses and turns a while as his thoughts war with his exhaustion before sleep finally drags him under just as the sun crests the horizon.


	7. Like an ocean deep where the water’s heaving, heaving.

Like an ocean deep where the water’s heaving, heaving.  
Tuesday, 08:00

Mouse bursting into the office and crowing over his latest find jolts everyone from their slumber, the irony of which Antonio would definitely appreciate if only he were awake enough to breathe without having to actively think about it. He’s struggling to drag himself off the couch he’s been absorbed into overnight and trying to jumpstart the English-speaking part of his brain, pleased to see similar bleariness in all of his colleagues as they rise from their inventive sleeping spots.

“Where’s Ruzek?” Voight asks from beside him, unfairly awake and comprehensive given he was as dead to the world as Antonio a minute ago. He’s saved from embarrassing himself by glaring at Voight for his ability to function by the loud thud of Adam’s head colliding with the underside of his desk before he emerges to a chorus of amusement from the others. They quiet down quickly once Mouse launches into his discovery, Antonio managing to coral his attention by the time they get to the important part. Mouse has barely finished speaking before they’re all flooding down the stairs to gear up and roll out. Voight tells them in no uncertain terms they’re coming back with the guilty bastards and all traces of sleep are gone once they vest up and pile into the cars.

The bust is such a blur to Antonio that he wouldn’t even be able to say how many floors they had swept or how long they had been inside. All he knows is that everything snaps into sharp focus as he slams cuffs onto the guy he grabbed and hurls the prick against the hood of the nearest car with nearly enough force to dent the panelling. He relishes the harsh crunch of bone that follows his vicious kick to the guy’s kneecap, enjoys the way he crumbles to the ground and the yelp of pain as he shoves again and watches the assholes face meet paintwork. The next thing he knows, the cuffs have been snatched out of his hand and he’s being pulled backwards by firm hands on his shoulders.

Body reacting instinctively before his mind can catch up, he spins on his toes and swings at the person who has grabbed him. The red clouding his vision abruptly disappears as his fist makes contact with bone, pain spiking down his wrist as his brain finally kicks in and he realises he’s just socked Voight in the jaw. Strong arms band around him to stop any more punches but the fight has already drained out of him at Voight’s pained grunt. 

Realising Antonio isn’t going to keep trying to hit him, Voight relaxes the tight restraint he has on his detective but maintains gentle contact to ground him for a moment. Antonio jerks away from Voight, not wanting to embarrass himself any further, but his foot meets the pavement wrong and he slips on a patch of ice he hadn’t seen. Voight’s still close and Antonio flings his arm out to try and steady himself, only succeeding in bringing them both crashing to the ground in a tangle of limbs and string of curses. He rolls around in the snow until he can get to his feet, casting a glance down and finding Voight sitting upright with a groan. 

Voight looks up as he feels Antonio standing over him, can’t help the laugh spilling out as he sees the younger detective shaking snowy hair out of his eyes before he offers a hand down to help Voight up. Voight takes it gratefully, not finding it in himself to be annoyed at the cold wetness seeping into his clothes when Antonio is lit up by a smile for the first time since the case started. His concern rushes back at the pained whine Antonio lets out, pressing close and reaching for the hand Antonio is cradling to his chest. He busted his knuckles pretty badly the day before and it seems the scabs have opened up in his scuffle with Voight. Antonio doesn’t meet his eyes, smile shy as he stammers out “I’m not gonna complain, considering I, um, kind of split them punching, well, you…” 

Voight releases Antonio’s hand and tilts his partner’s chin up until their eyes meet, gaze soft as he replies “You get a free pass this time. But don’t think for a minute I won't put you on your ass next time, bros or not!” with a chuckle, relieved at Antonio’s answering laugh. Voight shoots him a quick wink and brushes a hand between his shoulder blades, leaving his mind spinning once the sergeant steps away to coral the rest of his unit. He eventually manages to focus again, wrapping his knuckles the best he can before jumping into the fray and pulling his weight so they can all get back to the district and put this case behind them.


	8. Oh, time to take me home, home, home.

Oh, time to take me home, home, home.  
Tuesday, 12:30

Antonio drags his feet as he slinks toward Voight’s office. He appreciates the concern his sergeant has for his unit but this case has put him through the ringer in every possible way. His knuckles hurt like hell, what sleep he got last night was not nearly enough and there’s only so much of Voight’s concern he can take right now without breaking down into tears and throwing himself into the other man’s arms. Which is probably not the best way to let his boss know he’s completely in love with him.

His plan to slip out of the office silently, like all the others had since they’d tied up the case, is blown out of the water when Voight calls him into his office before he can escape. He’s totally blaming Al and his freaky ninja-ness for him getting caught, having honed Voight’s senses far beyond the normal bounds after years of working alongside the man. Too tired to make up an excuse that doesn't scream ‘I’m totally avoiding you’ he simply opts for getting it over with quickly so he can go home and sleep for a solid 15 hours. 

Hank leans against his desk, arms folded across his chest, watching silently as Antonio weighs his options before joining him in his office. He says nothing as the detective presses clenched fists harshly against the surface of his desk and hangs his head. It's so still in the room that he hears Antonio’s whispered “Why?” as clearly as if he’d shouted it, voice raw with emotion in a way that has Hank’s chest clenching painfully. Everything in him is screaming to drag the asshole in lock up out to the docks and drown him, for what he did to those kids and for the anguish in Antonio’s tone and stance.

He hates cases like this, ones that drag Antonio up against the stark line he’s drawn and refuses to cross. He thinks back to the night Antonio busted him, remembers his bitter hatred at how righteous the little punk cuffing him was, and marvels at how he’s come to admire that about Antonio. Hell, he may not know how he keeps such doe eyed innocence in light of the awful shit they’ve all seen but he’ll be damned if he doesn't fight to keep it that way. He can admit, if only to himself, that he’s come to covet the unwavering faith Antonio has in the inherent goodness of the human race. Sometimes, he can even convince himself Antonio’s ironclad belief has managed to kindle the charred embers of his own.

Not willing to stand by as Antonio falters, he waits until dark whiskey eyes meet his own, shaking his head sadly as he tells him “Some people, they’re broken. People like Vargas? We can’t fix them. All we can do is stop them breaking others, and you did that today. You see that as anything other than a win and you’re gonna drive yourself crazy, bro.” He reaches out and squeezes Antonio’s shoulder gently, is taken completely off guard when he pitches forward into his arms and collides with his chest with a thud. His hands brush lightly over broad shoulders before gripping more tightly as Antonio’s arms circle his waist and clench in the back of his shirt. 

He’s unsure how long they stand there, Antonio shaking silently and gripping his shirt tightly in his fists, thinks he’d stand there forever if that’s what Antonio needed him to do. Eventually he feels a rough exhale against his neck and Antonio pulls back, clearing his throat as an endearing blush creeps across his cheekbones and he murmurs a quiet apology. 

“Go home,” Hank tells him softly, smiling as he continues, “I’m pretty sure your boss will let you turn in your paperwork tomorrow in light of you busting your ass for the whole case.” Much to his relief, he gets a small smile in response before Antonio slips out of his office. He pauses to slip his jacket on, nods and says quietly “Goodnight, Hank” before he heads out. He watches until Antonio is out of his eye line before a quiet “Goodnight” falls from his lips.

Left in the quiet of his empty office, Voight’s thoughts are filled with Antonio - as they so often are these days. Yeah, he thinks to himself, that boy’s going to be the death of me. He shakes his head but can't stop the upward tug of his lips; he’s in so far over his head with Antonio that he can no longer tell up from down when he looks at him. He wouldn’t change how he felt even if he could, though. 

The only thing he would change between him and Antonio would be to have the young detective in his arms at the end of every day, not just the awful ones.


End file.
